Influencers can influence, but don’t let them dictate direction.
Influencers can be helpful. Many are generally knowledgeable in certain aspects. But that doesn’t mean that they are qualified to give specific advice on anything. This is especially true for serious topics like one’s individual nutrition for longevity, exercise regimen for sustainability, and/or “what to eat in a day”. Everyone has different circumstances. Therefore, everyone should be assessed differently by a trained (and, most importantly, experienced) professional. Influencers should mainly be taken as people who do their very best to provide the best information they know. While they intend to be as accurate and as effective as they can be, most will fall short because we all fall short. That applies to every vector and type of relationship.
In high school, a close friend of mine asked me about being friends forever. She was immensely popular and had many people in her life. In a private moment, she was sharing how she felt and asked for my reciprocation to meet her expectation. I’ve been rational to the extreme since early childhood. I also had very unique parents who impressed upon me from a young age that no one is perfect, even them. They were vulnerable and honest about their shortcomings to show my sister and me that not only is that universal, but it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. The only failure is to go against what is true by neglecting to address the shortcomings we all have as human beings. When my friend asked me about a lifetime commitment, I responded by telling her that everyone is going to let her down, including me. I explained that while that is not my intention, I will do so because I’m only human. I am equally a human being with the capacity and intelligence to understand that things are not just what they are but that they exist in context which makes all the difference in their acceptance. This core understanding of myself allows me to dominate my biggest competition in my life: my belief system alongside my ego. Human excellence, in my view, is derived from deeply understanding the duality of simultaneously being merely human while being a human with infinite capacity to go beyond the bounds of the current tense. This duality is very rarely seen in pop culture because it’s rarely executed by individuals that understand both sides. Typically, in pop culture, we either see people constantly telling us everyone’s “only human” to reduce culpability or we have some outliers way too far on the other side presenting an otherworldly persona greater than being human.
That day with my friend — even though it made her sad in the moment and took her many years to realize where I was coming from — I was sharing that I am simply human. Having an unrealistic expectation on either side of being human is not only incorrect but it is untrue as well as conflated. I work every single day to maximize my capacity of being human, both in action and communication. I am constantly revealing and exposing to all who know me closely that I am only human as well as a human being with great ability. My ability to be conscientious of both simultaneously has never made me better, but it has definitely made me different.
We all will disappoint and fall short of others’ expectations of us. While I’m confident that’s not what my friend wanted to hear, I felt (and feel to this day) a responsibility to be honest about my shortcomings — even if that is difficult to receive or even seems hurtful or contentious/confrontational in the moment.
As I see it, the key is to understand the fallibility we all possess. Then one can move with the choice of positivity in terms of disappointment by understanding that it’s a part of all relationships, no matter how great a person is. No matter how we all try, we have holes (some of which can’t be patched up for whatever reason). When one understands that about all people, influencers are taken simply for what they are instead of creating an unnecessary pressure that no one in private can live up to — much less a person attempting public influence.
