The Polyrhythm of Life
rhythm
noun
1: an ordered recurrent alternation of strong and weak elements in the flow of sound and silence in speech
2: the aspect of music comprising all the elements (such as accent, meter, and tempo) that relate to forward movement
I am a 4th generation rhythm/percussion instrumentalist. My dad and both uncles are drummers. My uncles eventually diverged from the drums — one switching to bass and one to the guitar — but they all began their music careers on the drums.
Playing the drums involves multiple body parts playing multiple musical parts simultaneously and in unison. If you were able to see inside the mind of the best drummers while they play, I imagine it would be like peering inside of a Richard Mille watch with all the intricate gears turning and parts moving apart but together. That’s what it was like watching my dad play and perform when I was younger.
On many occasions when I was very young, I would marvel at him playing live shows. He would play on a riser with his drum kit on their stadium and festival tours. Hidden from the crowd behind the drum kit, I would crawl up on his riser in the middle of a set and hold onto his foot on the bass drum pedal while he played. He’d continue playing and look down at me and smile. It was so stunning to see this as a child, watching a person totally in control, mechanically sound, and sonically rigid but rhythmically flexible.
As a 4th generation drummer, I was born into an innate understanding of rhythm. The most significant thing I know intrinsically about the drums is that they require steadiness and consistency. Just one generation before me, they didn’t have drum machines, electronic beats, or artificial timekeeping. I come from people who are built for organic timing and rhythm. The way in which I’ve pushed the family tradition forward is to not only play but to live in a polyrhythmic sense.
polyrhythm
noun
1: the simultaneous combination of contrasting rhythms in music
To live in a rhythmic sense is to be in the rhythm of life (a.k.a. to have a steady routine). When most individuals find their cadence, they live with a primary focus on one area and adhere to that singular rhythm.
To live in a polyrhythmic sense is to maintain multiple rhythms simultaneously. This means having multiple, concurrent focus areas with close to equal weight.
For me, the polyrhythm includes routines for music, engineering, hospitality management, and health/fitness. These 4 verticals are maintained simultaneously in the polyrhythm of my life.
This polyrhythm is in contrast to the general rule of a single rhythm and routine of life. Like most music, most individuals’ routines are set to one rhythm/circumstance at a time. This occurs because, in the majority of cases, one is the maximum of what most can play. It’s also the maximum of what most can digest (which is important for communication).
In my particular circumstance, holding multiple rhythms is something I’ve always been good at. What’s made me great is that I’ve made small optimizations since early childhood to hone in on 4 rhythms simultaneously and have become more efficient at it over time. While I’ll always need improvement, the polyrhythmic base of how I live my life allows me to play multiple rhythms simultaneously in my life. This is not better/worse, or more/less than anyone who finds (or doesn’t find) their one rhythm. I don’t believe in those types of comparisons in life.
I’m an economist at heart and it’s not economically sound to think that way. I believe every individual and every job has value that can contribute to society, even those that are perceived by some as being “lower” or “less than”. This mentality is why I created a program with executives of select Fortune 50 companies that allows up-and-coming kids who would otherwise be overlooked to be enrolled in internship programs and even jobs. In my view, they’re not overlooked because they’re not qualified but because they don’t yet know how to make their economic value evident. The program aims to match these young people with internships and jobs, but even if they’re turned away from a position I have individual executives guide and debrief them very specifically on the process. The executive discusses the scenario in an encouraging way to give them a clear direction for their next opportunity and ensure that they’re prepared. I established this based on a model that my mother always made sure to not only teach me but live in her action. She would say, “if you’re in Florida and you’d like to go to New York if you end up going south it doesn’t matter how many miles or how fast or hard you go, no matter how great you are at making time, you won’t end up in New York because you’re going the wrong way.” This program is designed to help these young people avoid the mistake of going in the wrong direction. It is not merely a do good ‘help the kids’ program like most adults tend to lean towards. Rather, it provides a clear and objective measurement when it comes to results and long-term thinking that’s instilled within the kids. This is accomplished by not only how the program is set up but how its executed by the executives that I’ve deemed to be qualified for this unique task. They themselves have to be mindful that:
1) They were once those kids who needed an opportunity;
2) Without the proper talent and recruiting methods, the power of the company and the position they’re in will not hold its value so there’s an intrinsic and economic value and incentive for them; and
3) Most importantly, this program not only enlightens these young people but it motivates them to figure out their Behavioral RNA™️. Instead of making statements and best guesses and coming to an impulsive conclusion, it gives them an opportunity to assess and really ask themselves the right questions starting with: What do I really see myself doing that I will love based on my goals and aspirations for myself?
This particular program exceeds race, gender, and age and brings a clear and powerful focus to qualifications over all three. While I am a realist enough to always know that those three play a role, this program minimizes that role as much as humanly possible by design. What a lot of these corporations that I work with don’t understand (but will soon find out) is it’s not only that this program I built is helpful but it’s needed. Many of these companies are over 100 years old. They tend to be stuck in an old model that doesn’t realize these kids are not interested in just having a job for security. Rather, they’re putting their emotional health and mental wellbeing before a paycheck. The result of which (as has been shown in the past few years of this program) is that they’re not necessarily interested in the big executive jobs. The reason they participate/engage in that climb at all is that they’re desperate to survive in the culture. Corporate has not fully come to that realization yet because they’re riding high on being 100+ years old and treating these young kids as if they have the same level of interest as 1–2 generations ago. There’s a cognitive dissonance between what’s going on with the kids and what the companies think they are. If the gap is not bridged, these companies risk not having the talent needed to continue — which is their biggest incentive to receive my consultation.
We are all blessed with our own gifts. It’s not what we have but what we do with what we have that makes the difference. In my opinion, there are too many faults in the better/worse/more/less space. It’s not a significant form of measurement to me. What I do find significant and consequential is Behavioral RNA™️. Understanding and abiding by one’s Behavioral RNA™️ allows one to find and work through the rhythm of life on an individual basis — whether that is one or multiple rhythms. One’s Behavioral RNA™️ simply is. We choose whether to observe and honor it, and that choice can largely determine whether we find any rhythm in life at all.
Where problems can arise is when one doesn’t understand, accept, or respect their rhythm(s) and/or those of another. I encountered this issue before I fully understood myself. I spent time living in a rhythmic sense — with a single focus — because I saw it was the traditional path that my peers were taking. Because I’m not only capable of polyrhythm but had been honing this from early childhood, I knew that my Behavioral RNA™️ and abilities exceed a single rhythm. The dissonance between who I am and who I was attempting to be created a deep level of frustration. Unfortunately, I also succumbed to the common mistake of projecting that onto others. I did so unintentionally because I didn’t fully understand why I was reducing myself or realize that I was externalizing something that could only be solved within.
I made two big mistakes in my life during that phase of dissonance. I absolutely do not regret those mistakes because without them I wouldn’t be able to understand myself or communicate what I learned. They lead me here, so it was a blessing to go through that period.
My first mistake was thinking that if I explain things logically to people that it would make a difference in their behavior. The second mistake was the most important and taught me the biggest lesson of my life. It was the main source of my self-inflicted frustration. That mistake was thinking that if I broke down where I was coming from in a polyrhythmic sense that anyone outside of myself would have the context, the empathetic capacity, and also the proper bifocals to see and understand my point of view. This is the largest mistake I’ve made in this life because it taught me that only I can truly understand my point of view. It’s good to emphasize our similarities. It is part of my Behavioral RNA™️ to emphasize similarities over differences. I’ve done so since childhood and I attribute having a very large, close, and diverse friend group to that quality. I tend to focus on similarities and ignore differences because they’re not significant to me personally. It’s always made me uncomfortable to bring achievements and capabilities others may not have to the table in all types of relationships in general. I’m all about sharing. One of the key factors to sharing is common ground. I’m always the first to emphasize the areas of common ground and eliminate the other aspects of myself naturally. This isn’t a strategy. I do this because, to me, experiences and achievements that are considered common or rare don’t matter. As a child and a young man, this mentality worked wonderfully because it allowed me to not just get along with people well but it made people feel they can relate to me (which they can in certain aspects). As we get older and people evolve, however, this presented a problem. It started to contain me more and more because it forced me into a rhythmic sense of life like most everyone else (i.e. settling down, getting married, focusing on kids, all of the more standard/traditional moves in life). When one lives a more polyrhythmic life, there is not only a lot going on simultaneously but also a synthesis of all of these verticals, too. For most, this would be an overwhelming and even impossible challenge. But to me, it comes naturally. While it may look like a lot on paper it’s simply part of my Behavioral RNA™️. It’s not overwhelming to me personally. It’s how I operate. Going against that started to cause issues. I started feeling reduced and conflicts arose with most of my friend group because they no longer understood me due to my divergence from their path in life. In their defense, I can see how it began looking strange because it appears that I’m unfocused and, “doing all these random things.” Without having polyrhythm in context, it can feel unfocused. I can relate this to a musical example. Sometimes if you hear a musical part outside of the whole composition, it seems to make no sense at all. A familiar example of this is the song Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears for Fears. If you listen only to the intro guitar part, it sounds unfocused. It only starts to take a discernable shape when you also hear the rhythm, piano, and vocals. For anyone struggling with rhythm in general, the guitar part alone sounds completely unfocused and all over the place. This is what occurs when people observe a polyrhythmic individual and only see part of the whole.
Aligning and finding common ground with others is like musical harmonies, whereas your Behavioral RNA™️ is the beat that drives everything forward. Creating the proper harmony in your life is important, but the most important is finding your rhythm(s). Behavioral RNA™️ is rhythm. Melody is dictated by rhythm first. It’s, therefore, most important to understand the rhythm(s) of your life before focusing on how you harmonize with others and yourself. Harmony and melody are significant foundational aspects that can be powerful if optimized correctly. But the first step to optimizing melody/harmony is to understand one’s rhythm. That’s where Behavioral RNA™️ comes in.
Have you found your rhythm in life?
